Sunday, December 17, 2017

Sagittarius New Moon December 17/18 2017 Can You be the Question?

Chine scroll painting

To a Centaur on her Saturn Return
            By Cory Nakasue

Dear Saskia, I don’t have any answers for you. Just more
questions to add to your questions. After all what is a Sagittarian
aside from innumerable questions and the risks they take in search of answers
that only lead to more questions?

Half beast half
human. Unable to pick a form and wanting
to blend the best
of both worlds while rejecting the parts
that won’t fit

into Saturn’s unbendable
regarding what’s real.

Unfortunately, when Saturn returns
to the place in the sky
it occupied at your time of birth
it will make you choose:

Yes or no?
Woman or beast? Or maybe
you can convince the Lord
of Time to accept a centaur as a valuable member
of society.


I was in the city last weekend and thought of you.
I saw Quiet Days in Clichy,
the movie based on the Henry Miller book. By turns grotesque
and succulent. So hollow
that its potential for holding all the naked
boring beauty in the world
seemed palpable—mean and horrible
and so ugly it whips right back around and becomes gorgeous again. And I wondered,

is there a story about two female companions
as raw and uncomplicated? Could we be
that story? A story that’s not
moralized, politicized, or sentimentalized—basically a story that’s not romanticized.
Do I sound like Llyod Dobler in Say Anything?
So romantic
the way we imprison ourselves in frames
of reference.

So unlike yoga.

In Clichy, Joey and Carl structure their days
around immediate physical urges and epiphany
spasms amid a parade of distraction. Their days are one
long improvisational orgy performed with total commitment.
Theirs is an unapologetic launch

into NOW
and NOW        and NOW                    and NOW and

Now this is yoga.

It might not be EXACTLY what we teach
our students. I fantasize that the forms and philosophies
we so painstakingly convey are received
as the mere training wheels
they’re meant to be; little crutches

to get people to recognize an
when they see it, cast it off and actually hear
their bodies revealing the mysteries of the universe like the fucking arc of the covenant cracked open spewing shimmering golden light in the form of rapturous knowledge.

As a Sagittarian, you might really appreciate that—crude knowledge,
erupting in spite of the earth
getting off
on questions.


I don’t know Saskia.

Do you want to have a baby? 
Should you have a baby?
Have you changed your mind about babies, motherhood, womanhood and all that jazz? How does your body answer these questions?
Is your womb at war with your philosophy, your conscience,
your convenience?  What about romance?
Is it about that dude? His wants
making you question your wants? Or being haunted
by some shadow of “should” or “supposed to?”

You can’t cup your cunt with uncloven hooves—
catch the answers as they drop. Consult
yourself mid-gallop. The mud that gets kicked
up mid-motion is your product, your answer
your baby.



What about Thelma & Louise?
I like that story. These women
being rebellious.  They still get punished
in the romantic end; still martyrs
in reaction/resistance. They are running
away. They are prey.

Through all of their adventures in self
defense, they are framed
as beautifully and romantically uncommon.
Some kind of exception.

Then they die.

Are they supposed to be particularly heroic?
For having a survival instinct?
For having a threshold?
For being human?

Should they be framed
as rebels for participating
in the dualistic romance
of vengeance
perpetuated by dude-culture?

What if Thelma & Louise didn’t have to escape
situations they didn’t want to be in in the first place?

HA! Sorry. My bad.

That would be like trying to escape the word
“patriarchy” while it’s embedded in the very sentence-making
I depend on
to tell you that the patriarchy doesn’t apply
to me.              Let’s forget about that question.  

I think we can begin to bend
the sharp edges of a language that points
us away from ourselves—that has us looking
outward for rules and benchmarks, that has us buying
into ideas like “normal” “natural” “the majority” and

“mainstream” vs. an “alternative.”

That there are only two choices to pick from
is one big lie. We can’t count
all the ways to be
ecstatically and responsibly free.


Clichy feels more female than Thelma & Louise…which is weird.

These two dudes, cocks out
like weather vanes--divining rods pointing
fucking anything in sight, lost
in a swirl of confusion and emotion where
every action is good-AND-bad, potent-AND-flaccid, innocent-AND-violent. So sweetly
feminine. A glorious mess. Embodied and reflected upon.

Saskia, could we be that story? Or
is shape-shifting between forms
for those of privilege?

Can anyone really make their own
Is rebellion the only tool
within reach
for some?

Rebellion feels like an answer
to someone else’s questions.
Answers are born
with limits.

Questions create the world
the answer lives in. If we’re truly
our own authorities, WE would build the house
our world lives in.

Rebellion feels like a reaction to those
shadow “shoulds” and “supposed to-s.”  What if
we didn’t recognize those
words? What if
they were neutral? Like “paper”
and “vowel.”  What if “baby”
were as neutral as “towel”—as banal as vanilla, as vanilla as oatmeal? 
What if
the “shoulds” and “supposed to-s” just didn’t occur to us
as anything that applies to us?

I don’t want to tell you
how to feel about rebellion.

You don’t need me
to tell you WHAT
you already know. You don’t need me
to tell you THAT
you already know. You know that
every freak-out is a rejection
of NOW and that every hiccup in our certainty is a lapse
of trust in our body. You know. Every Sagittarian knows
that answers serve questions.

Can you can be the question?

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Full Moon Gemini. Mercury Retrograde 12/3/17 Bend and the World Bends with You.

I wish everyone luck this December, including myself. I’m already getting the business end of this lunation. I’m almost afraid to post this. But we can’t hide under the bed at every Mercury retrograde or Saturn transit. We have to take our lumps and LEARN: how to balance realistic thinking with lofty ideals, distinguishing unresolved feelings from logical thoughts, and mindful communication. The next two weeks are about restructuring the mind and telling fact from fiction. Give yourself and others extra helpings of time to think and formulate. Slow the internal tempo down so you can take in new information (that might actually be reformulated old information) and make needed adjustments.

But wait, isn’t Gemini supposed to be the fleet footed jack-of-all-trades? The master multitasker and messenger of the divine? Shouldn’t a full moon in Gemini be a gabfest, a piñata full of gadgets, smooth, fast, multilingual conversation? Well, sure. That’s one way it could go down on any other Gemini moon, but not this one.

Here’s what makes this one truly special:

a)     It’s ruled by Mercury retrograde (stationing ON the day of the full moon)
b)    Mercury is in Sagittarius (in its UNhappy place aka its detriment)
c)     Mercury is conjunct Saturn (ruler of the finite, form, and 3D reality)
d)    Full moon is square Neptune (ruler of the infinite, the formless, and fantasy)

This is so complex I’m going speak imagistically about the ways you might experience this:

You’re in the middle of a long corridor. At one end of the corridor is a perfectly idealized version of love. At the other end of the corridor is a grossly exaggerated representation of your darkest fears. If you move toward your fears and get a closer look at them you’re guaranteed a new level of knowledge and self-mastery. There are no guarantees if you move toward the idealizations (might be everything you hoped for, you might be sorely dissapointed). The ends of each corridor are equally tempting and horrifying, urging you to move quickly. Oh, and the entire floor is marble and it’s been doused with soapy water.

Your friends are waiting for you at the beach. It’s a perfect day. The only route you know has been closed and you’re skeptical about the detour, but you don’t have any maps with you, your smart phone is dead, and you’re the only one out on the road. You really want to get to the beach and you don’t want to worry your friends. You either take a leap of faith and drive the sketchy looking detour or go back home and get all the navigation tools that you’re used to using. Do you stick with the original goal and go about it the way you’re used to, even though it might cost you the day? Or, are you flexible enough to see where the road you’re on leads, and maybe even decide you want to spend the day differently?

Someone is saying all the right things to you. They make total sense. You agree with them. But, you don’t believe them. You don’t trust them.

A situation doesn’t quite make logical sense to you. You’re not quite sure it's worth doing. But, you know you need to be in it. It feels right. You trust it.

This full moon trust your bones over your brain. Brain not work so well right now.

When Mercury gets sleepy (read: goes retrograde, gets stuck with Saturn in Sagittarius) it happens so that other avenues wake up. Emotions, intuition, and senses get woken up and we may be forced to experiment, improvise, create innovative workarounds. Sometimes we get stuck in patterns of thought, and use habitual thought forms as a crutch. We may tell ourselves it’s for efficiency, legitimacy, or practicality, but most of the time it’s out of fear. Fear of the unknown, failure, getting hurt, or disapproval from others. This full moon may point out some of those habits by denying you access to them. It wants to show you that you are much more than habit, mindless routine, unquestioned preferences, and unexamined traditions.

Where communication is concerned take nothing for granted. This is another place we get lazy. If two people are lazy enough with their speaking and listening, they might not even be in the same conversation. Slow down. Pay attention. Rushing to judgement on anything right now would be a big mistake. Huge. We are all having useful info about the way we’ve been thinking and communicating handed to us. Unfortunately it might come in the form of breakdowns…but it doesn’t have to. If you do find yourself with a breakdown, try living with it. Ditch your old computer, phone, television habits, communication style, or thought pattern for a while and find another route. Feel other parts of yourself.

Flexibility and care will get you through the next month. Bend and the world bends with you.

Bonus points: watch or re-watch The Matrix. Meditate.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

New Moon Scorpio 11/18/17 Passion with Precision

Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption

Well, this is a Scorpio season for the books and it ain't over yet. Scorpio doesn’t stop until it gets to the bottom’s bottom and sometimes it's just bottomless—and dark.

But that’s okay because Scorpio can see in the dark and sees all that is dark, clearly.  The longer we can tolerate the fear of darkness and resist the urge to turn lights on too soon, the more we can find out. The longer we can bear states of emptiness the clearer the knowledge becomes of what will satisfy. Emptiness is a natural part of living to be embraced. Our fear of it is what sometimes dulls the senses by keeping us reacting to imagined threats of loss and creates a cynicism that gets in the way of healthy desire.

 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12

This is Scorpio’s gift to us.

Perhaps more importantly Scorpio has enthusiasm (especially with Jupiter there) for the hidden, the taboo, the dirt, and other unmentionables. Scorpio was designed to dive into the raw sewage and come out with gold (you all remember that scene from The Shawshank Redemption where Andy crawls through the sewer to escape prison and that amazing money shot at the end when he emerges reborn, and baptized by Hollywood rain). There are no half-measures with Scorpio. It will undo itself until it's nothing only to be reborn as everything. 

This new moon in Scorpio is asking you to go all the way with your desires by engaging in the compost process. It wants you to commit to rebirth by laying old desires to rest so they may be restored and felt to the nth degree. By engaging in periods of abstinence, cleansing, and fast the palate of our desire nature is primed to experience passion with clarity and precision—instead of becoming inured and dulled by habit.

And because I seem to have Shawshank on the brain, how can we forget Red’s pivotal piece of advice to Andy: "Get busy living or get busy dying."  Or for these purposes, we could substitute that with "get busy dying TO get busy living."  Andy had to experience depletion so thoroughly to feel the acuteness of his desire. That gave him the strength to execute a precise act of will for his transformation. 

On the world stage we can see that we are in the midst of  a purge to say the very least. Death to the old, a cleaning of wounds, and thorough examinations of the intricate workings of our pain. This is the fuel for change.

This new moon post is short and to the point, there’s not a lot of nuance to explore. Your new moon intention: use your night vision to suss out what’s putrid, stale, or just in the way, and surrender it. Allow yourself a moment of "empty" to feel your passion with exactitude. Be precise about where you aim your passion and develop an articulate and discriminating appetite.